So I was out shopping for a get-well card yesterday.  My first ever boss also happens to be a longtime family friend, and he had some weakness in his legs after a volleyball game that turned into surgery to remove blood clots in his legs followed by surgery to remove a benign tumor in his heart.  And the man isn’t even out of his 50s yet.  Oy.

Anyway, he got sprung from the hospital yesterday, so I decided to send him a card.  The card I got him has a picture of an adorable golden retriever on the front (appropriate since the family has had goldens as long as I’ve known them).  It says on the outside:  “As they say in obedience school…” *open card* “Heal!”

That’s the card I got him.  I opted against the card that had me rolling in the aisle because I CANNOT imagine giving it to someone who used to be my boss.  And is married with two children.  But it was the FUNNIEST CARD EVER!  Here’s what it said:

*Front of card*

I heard you were Laid Off…

No, that’s not right.  Laid Away?

No, not that either.  Laid Up?

Yes!  That’s it!  Laid Up!

Or was it Laid Down?

Or Laid-Back maybe?

Er, Laid Over?

*Open Card*

Well, however you got laid, I sure am sorry to hear about it.

(Oops, that didn’t sound right, either. Oh well, get well anyhow!)

So I’m standing there sniggering thinking, “Ack, I CAN’T give that to Dick (and yes, irony of all ironies, his name really is Dick)…”

And this little, rarely-heard eviltwin voice in my head said, “BUT…!  He’d get the joke!  He would!  You could maybe…”

And I grabbed the golden retriever card and got the heck out of there before I offended a very nice man and very good friend.

But you have to admit, that other was a REALLY funny card.


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