So I was out shopping for a get-well card yesterday. My first ever boss also happens to be a longtime family friend, and he had some weakness in his legs after a volleyball game that turned into surgery to remove blood clots in his legs followed by surgery to remove a benign tumor in his heart. And the man isn’t even out of his 50s yet. Oy.
Anyway, he got sprung from the hospital yesterday, so I decided to send him a card. The card I got him has a picture of an adorable golden retriever on the front (appropriate since the family has had goldens as long as I’ve known them). It says on the outside: “As they say in obedience school…” *open card* “Heal!”
That’s the card I got him. I opted against the card that had me rolling in the aisle because I CANNOT imagine giving it to someone who used to be my boss. And is married with two children. But it was the FUNNIEST CARD EVER! Here’s what it said:
*Front of card*
I heard you were Laid Off…
No, that’s not right. Laid Away?
No, not that either. Laid Up?
Yes! That’s it! Laid Up!
Or was it Laid Down?
Or Laid-Back maybe?
Er, Laid Over?
Well, however you got laid, I sure am sorry to hear about it.
(Oops, that didn’t sound right, either. Oh well, get well anyhow!)
So I’m standing there sniggering thinking, “Ack, I CAN’T give that to Dick (and yes, irony of all ironies, his name really is Dick)…”
And this little, rarely-heard eviltwin voice in my head said, “BUT…! He’d get the joke! He would! You could maybe…”
And I grabbed the golden retriever card and got the heck out of there before I offended a very nice man and very good friend.
But you have to admit, that other was a REALLY funny card.